Tourniquet
by Captain Howdy 611
Summary: Would they still love him?" More angsty delights


_Disclaimer – I own neither the characters or the song._

_A/N - Howdy! Tonight I've decided to take a break from my usual fic (and by that I mean I'm suffering severe writers block.. AGAIN... kicks mind) and I am having a dodgy shot at a songfic. This is something I've never tried before, and I've not read that many either, so this is something new to me. The song is Touniquet by Evanescance, apologies if any of the lyrics are wrong – I wrote them from memory whilst listening to Kate Bush – so there is every chance that I cocked it up at least once... but anyway... enjoy_

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**Tourniquet**

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_**I tried to kill the pain  
but only brought more**_

The knife lay strewn on the bed, he no longer had the strength to grasp the handle. Did he really mean to go this far? True – he wanted release from the emotional pain that haunted him every day of his life. He wanted release from the humiliation, from the guilt that he desperaty tried to hide, from the hatred of the others in the cul-de-sac, and this was the best way to relieve the ghosts that drifted constantly through his thoughts. The physical pain was so much easier. But was this going too far?

**_I lay dying  
and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal_**

No. As the scarlet dripped from the slashes torn across his wrists he knew that this was the right decision. He had lived a life of regrets, regrets that he had not chosen the right path in life, regrets that he had not let his true personality show. He smiled as he thought of the shock this would bring to his friends. No-one would ever have expected this of him. But then again they had never really known him at all.

**_I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming  
am I too lost to be saved  
am I too lost?_**

Would his friends come? Would they find him here and save him? Would their love be enough to pull him through?

**_My God my tourniquet  
return to me salvation_**

Would the others eventually absolve him for all he had done?

**_My God my tourniquet  
return to me salvation_**

Or was this the only way for him to be accepted?

**_Do you remember me  
lost for so long_**

He was sure that the other kids of the cul-de-sac wouldn't care. Kevin would think it served him right – a fitting end for him– he had always had a thing against the Eds... along with most of the others. Would anyone miss him? Would Sarah drop her firey defence to comfort those around her? Would Jimmy cry? Would Johnny find the grief was too much to share with just Plank, and have to turn to the other kids instead? Would Nazz regret dismissing his affections? Would Rolf condemn him for such a cowardly and disrespectful death?

Would they even remember him?...

**_Will you be on the other side  
or will you forget me_**

But how about the other two Eds? How would they react to their best friend's death? Would they cry? Would they blame themselves? Would they blame each other? Would his death really have that much impact on their lives? Would they carry on as normal, or would they decide that without the third of the group present there was no point in scams, no pleasure in their ventures? Would they find none of that worthwhile?

Or would they just forget him?...

**_I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming  
am I too lost to be saved  
am I too lost?_**

Would the love of his friends be enough to pull him through?

**_My God my tourniquet  
return to me salvation_**

Would the Eds left behind ever forgive him for taking his own life?

**_My God my tourniquet  
return to me salvation_**

Would they carry on lovng him?  
  
**_My wounds cry for the grave  
my soul cries for deliverance_**

He could feel his life leaving him, flowing away with the blood that spilled from his wounds. This was it. He could feel the peace rushing over him, cleansing his soul of all the hatred he had ever felt. This was the end.

**_Will I be denied Christ  
tourniquet  
my suicide_**

Would they still love him?

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_And there we have it... Tell me what you think... Again – it was a dodgy shot and a bit of a trial and error thing, but still, hope you enjoyed and if you did then please REVIEW!!! If anyone can give me some tips on better songfic writing then I'd be glad of them _


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